Like any other culture, Filipino culture has its own idiosyncrasies when it comes to table manners. Some of which cause Westerners to proclaim that all Filipino are rude.
This is not really true. It is completely acceptable behavior within Filipino culture. Some of the traditions are also overwhelming polite. Like most Filipino will never take the last piece of chicken from the table but they will eat every molecule of food on their plate. It is almost disrespectful to leave anything on your plate. That is scary when you think of some of the things that might end up on your plate. If someone puts balot on my plate, it will stay there until someone else eats it. Balot, often spelled balut is a fertilized duck egg that is partially developed, then boiled and eaten out of the shell. Jessie spells it with the “O” so I do too.
Especially in informal setting, Filipinos will often eat with their hands. Last night, I noticed a woman scoop up her rice with her fingers. It reminded me of a giant digging machine with its claw digging into the earth, clamping down on its target then lifting it to place the dirt into a waiting dump truck. Only now, the target is rice and the dump truck is her mouth.
Is that rude? No it is not. It would be rude to do that in the USA but we are not in the USA. Here it is normal and completely acceptable. I don’t particular like to watch it so I don’t. There is no reason I have to look at it. I can look someplace else. In more formal settings though most Filipinos will use a spoon. Forks are used much less frequently here. Though I think that is changing. Not every Filipino eats in this manner. Jessie doesn’t do it. her son does though.
I’ve seen Westerners go on and on and complain until the cows come home about this. After the cows come up they complain about it some more if they can’t find something else to complain. If it bothers you, don’t watch it. Hey Mr. manners, did you forget it is rude in our culture to stare! Let it go, it isn’t the end of the world. It is not worth one electrical impulse in your brain that it took to disapprove. Nor is it worth the vibration you are causing in my ears when you complain. maybe you feel better now though. After all you’re better than that, right?. I know I should be kinder but I have my own hypocrisy. I dislike judgmental thoughts. Yes, I’m judgmental about judgmental people.
I’ve seen Filipinos do it in restaurant too. You know if you are use to doing this it would be easier than using a eating utensils. Me, I don’t like touching squishy or slimy things. I like them even less in my mouth.
What is rude in your culture is not rude in another culture. Many things you do are rude to Filipino but most understand we don’t know their ways and don’t condemn us for it. It does seem that Filipinos are getting tired of the loud American syndrome though. I know of one landlord that doesn’t rent to Americans any more because we complain too much. Put down your lawyers card, you won’t be able to sue anyone fo that in the Philippines. Moving to the Philippines will require you to adjust. You don’t have to adopt Filipino culture but you are going to have to live within it. Learning to see Filipino culture through Filipino eyes instead of Western eyes will likely lead to a more enjoyable experience for you.
Tagged with: Filipino Culture • In the Philippines • Moving To The Philippines
Filed under: Filipino Culture
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Get
To The Philippines Faster
Hi Rusty. When a kid, if I was caught using my fingers to eat my cheeky response was “Fingers were made before knives and forks”. It’s not just the Philippines where people use there hands to eat.
Anyway, here in the west we have ‘finger food’ so whats the difference lol.
Hi Marjorie, you’re right. No it isn’t just the Philippines. I had baby back ribs last night. I ate what I could with a fork but when I got down to the ribs that no longer worked, no choice to but to use fingers. The difference is the kinds of foods that are eaten with the fingers. I’ve never seen a Westerner scoop up something like rice with their fingers. There is a video on the site made by Filipino that mentions this too.
Idk Rusty I would say the kids eat that way more cause they are children than for cultural reason most kids would tend to lean that way unless corrected or strongly influenced by parents or elders. I to have noticed that Filipinos use spoons heavily and not so much forks. If they use a fork it is usually just to scoop the food into the spoon.
It is common and accepted here, at least in many parts of the Philippines. That’s the point, it is common in Filipino culture.
The video by Filipinos is here: http://cebuexperience.com/living-in-the-philippines/filipino-culture/filipino-culture-2/ They say it is Filipino culture, good enough for me.
Now they say the sharing is inborn, I don’t think so. That’s learned too, culture not instinct. When Jermain was 3 he was very good at saying “Ako ni” which means it is mine.
I do not know that I spelled it correctly but that’s what it sounds like. He is now five and doesn’t say that any more. He learned.
Hi Rusty, When I was visiting my wifes aunt, she had other guest in her home and when it was time to eat supper I asked where the others were. My wife told me they will eat after I’am done,I asked why and she told me they don’t want to eat in front of me because they don’t use any silverwear. I said to her that I would not be offended by this and she said that they would not feel cofertiable with me seeing how they eat.So a new lesson learned…………..JC
Part of it is they are likely to be very shy even if not eating. Especially if they are female. Do they come out at other times? It could be just the eating. I’m not there. I know we had one ya ya that was too s hy to go out and eat with us. I don’t remember which one that was.
They did come out and talk to me, thats why I was surprise of what was going on. They were very friendly and we had a lot to talk about. And by the way, they were female friends of the family. JC
Okay JC well, then just accept it I guess.
Maybe they will feel better about it at some point.
Thanks for the positive reviews about the Philippines. It’s quite seldom to read such kind of reviews. Anyway about the “Kuya, ate” article; it can be quite different. In the Benguet province we are not so accustomed to it. Well, this is not true in general. There are families who assimilated the lowland’s culture and they do use ate=manang or kuya=manong. In my case, I grew up calling my older sister and brother by name, but it doesn’t mean I don’t respect them. Same goes to the community I live in. Igorots seem to embody more of the western culture I guess.
Hi Chris, I will admit that I am surprised the are you’re speaking of has a strong Western influence. So you’re in this region: Igorot People or do I not fully understand?
Jessie’s kids call each other by their first names. I’ve never heard them call anyone kuya but she calls just about everyone that if they are male, other than me. That is probably because I only recently learned the word. She does often call me sir. This often drives expats insane to have their mate call them that. I don’t think it ever bothered me but if so, I long ago forgot.
Chris, there are quite a few of us with similar views. I will say that most are not as positive as I am but I’m more accepting of others views. I can disagree without putting them down, well unless they vote Republican. lol I jest.. don’t worry about the negative folks, they hate their home too and they remain here.
Early in ’86 Lyn wanted to go home to Surigao City & Dinagat so I took her to Manila and put her on a boat one Saturday. When I went back down to pick her up two weeks later I was running late due to Manila traffic and she was sitting on the wall outside the port talking to an old baggage smasher and a little girl. I got out of the car, gave Lyn a Hug and a Kiss and started putting her stuff in the trunk of the car, including 2 humungous Jackfruit pods. Next thing I know the little girl is getting into the car with us. Turned out to be Lyn’s young half-sister who she had brought up to go to a good school, without telling me anything (I guess she learned the old military saw “it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission”). Anyway, Melanie was 12, looked to be 8 or 9, and was as shy as a mouse. Over the next 2 years she turned into a typical giggly teenager but she ALWAYS called me Kuya Al.
Al, I’ve seen a little of that myself. Nothing that drastic though. We just had a house guess for two and half months. When she told me her friend was coming, she didn’t say for more than two months. I bet I’ll ask next time.
Lyn knew what she was doing as did my girl.
It may be a differnce in culture but its hard for me as to not see it as disrespectful. I guess if I was in that situation I would have to find a much better way to communicate that.
What’s a jackfruit pod?
I was not happy about it to say the least.
Jackfruit pods are a pale green, wrinkled, and bigger than the biggest watermelon you ever saw. The individual seeds are shaped like an almond but somewhat bigger, and that’s what you eat. Hard to describe the taste and smell, but it’s very good. Only problem is, if you eat a lot of them, your farts will smell like Jackfruit! No, it’s not a bad smell, just distinctive.
There is an article and photos in wikipedia
I have a couple of pictures of jack fruit around, I’ll try to find one.
Bruce, I have a picture of one here:
http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6008/5989920529_562c5a3f21_b.jpg
I’m Filipino and I think table manners vary depending on where you are in the Philippines. I live in Manila and every single person I’ve encountered eats with a spoon and a fork. Even at home, in an informal setting, this is the norm.
Janie, I have not doubt that it difference by region and right down to the family. A family living in Makati is less likely to eat with their fingers but they are also less likely to practice mano po too. But most Filipino culture is highly regional. Public displays of affection are still frowned on by many Filipinos out in the province but Manila and Angeles City it is far more accepted. In the Tacloban area, many Filipinos go door to door seeking gifts but I had a Filipino get highly offended when I said it was part of the culture. It certainly wasn’t a part of his. Even though I was able to trace it back for hundreds of years and where the tradition came from he remained angry and I finally had to just ban him once he started with personal attacks, which I hated to do because I liked him. He has not lived in the Philippines in a long time though. I wouldn’t disagree with you at all and I’m sure I said in the article that table manners differ from family to family or region to region. I also try to when I write on these topics. It also differs right down to the individual.