Cowards that Roar
Expats living in the Philippines that beat their wives or girlfriends bring harm to the rest of us. They also are very likely to find themselves dead. Filipino have their own way of dealing with such things. You could also very likely and I hope soon, find yourself deported.
A few months ago there was a man on Bantayan Island that was known for beating his girlfriend. One such night she went to the police and reported him. Before the day was over, he was dead. The police said that he died from beating his head into the cell wall.
I asked an islander the other day what he thought about the situation. He didn’t know of the story. However, the islander motioned with his hands to indicate someone pushing a man’s head into a wall. Also interesting, that the doctor at the emergency room said the accused died from strangulation. At least that is what was reported in some local news papers in the Philippines.
I never saw any follow up stories on that. Really hard for me to believe someone killed themselves by beating their own head into a wall. You know, it could be done. It is possible. Another expat told me the dead guys was known for this head banging behavior. Like I said, its possible but it is also inconsistent with what the doctors found.
Men that hit women to control them need help. I’ll be the first to agree to that. So let’s help them seek help. They are usually motivated by the fear of being discovered as inadequate. Hint: We are all inadequate.
Men are so much stronger than women. The only time using force against a woman is justified is to prevent them from doing serious harm to someone else. So what if a woman hits you, is it really going to harm you?
You’re strong enough to knock her across the room. One of your “manly” punches could even kill her. When you strike a woman, the world will find out and we will know that you are a coward. That you can’t handle the daily troubles of life. We will know how scared you are!
If you have a friend that does this, don’t support him. Don’t make excuses for him. Instead, reject him. Any thing else enables the behavior. Personally, I’m pretty lenient on someone that makes one mistake. When the same deed happens over and over again it ceases to be a mistake.
When the rest of us don’t hold these guys accountable, we enable them to continue abusing the women. Then it reflects badly on the rest of us. Stereotyping is human nature. We like to put people into neat little groups, appropriate or not, we do it. Since a few expats exhibit this cowardly behavior, and we are the ones that are different, the behavior is likely to be attributed to t he all of us.
For example, most expats handle their extensions and other immigration matters as we should. Because some don’t, we are now paying new fees. The Bureau of Immigration (BI) is trying to find ways to stop those that cheat. Sooner or later, the Philippines will look for ways to stop those that come here and beat the women who love them.
I am suggesting to not associate with expats that treat women this way. Don’t do business with them. Don’t help them in anyway, unless it is to get help regarding their abusive nature. It may go on more than we know, okay you can’t do anything about the people you don’t know about. The people we do know about should be shunned in until they get the help they need.
If they don’t get the help, help them get locked up or thrown out of the country. I wonder how many are here because they cant be in their home country because of the same behavior. One would think their passports would be tracked. They likely would be in the US. Perhaps, once they get out of the US, there is no such tracking except for the most sought after fugitives.
For me, being against women beaters is like being against baby killing. It obvious. I hope it really is a rare thing. However, I know one barangay captain and it is one of his biggest day to day issues for him. Next time I see him, I’m going to ask why he just doesn’t have them deported.
My point here is to stop enabling abusive husbands or abusive boyfriends. I know this enabling is going on. I know of one such person that I no longer associate with. I also see others bend over backwards to support him.
I don’t understand why we would admire wife beaters and woman abusers. I hope this behavior will end. We can reduce the behavior by making it socially unacceptable.
Filed under: Expats in the Philippines
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