I’m sharing this video as kind of a public service. The guy in the video probably isn’t stupid. He had $300,000 in the bank to loose. He was smart enough to get that. Then again, I don’t know how he got that. Maybe the life insurance proceeds from his dead wife
It really is too bad he didn’t know about living in the Philippines. If he had, he might have learned this was not a once in a life-time chance for him. I think many guys believe that. The girl you’re talking to is not your only option. If you think she’s not real then move on. Better yet, come here and find her in person.
A Beautiful Woman Can Be Dangerous to a Lonely Man
There are some awesome Filipina but if you’re so lonely you can’t think straight you’re setting yourself up for huge problems.
Many girls online in the Philippines are looking for a foreign husband. Many of those are also looking for men they can take money from. Many say they are looking for a foreign husband but they are not. Those are looking only to take your money.
Sometimes they are not even women. Sometimes they are not even in the Philippines. Sometimes your talking to the mother while the daughter is on cam.
Sending money to someone you’ve never met should be like investing. Don’t invest what you cannot afford to loose. No, I’m not saying your gift is an investment. I’m saying you should not gift what you cannot afford.
Desperate situations make anyone take drastic actions. It causes Filipina to behave in ways I consider to be unacceptable. That is, lying to men to make money.
Another thing to consider is they may not be lying. That pretty girl might be telling you what she really believes. She might be fooling herself. You might be a fantasy and when reality hits home she might be forced to deal with that.
No shows happen all the time for that reason. The guy arrives in the country and the girl makes some excuse why she can’t be with him when she said she would. That’s usually last moment cold feet caused by the fantasy ending and the reality of what she’s been promising comes to life. This is more common than even the girls being dishonest.
The younger the girls are the more likely this is going to happen.
I really think it is best to just come here and meet a girl. You will have many opportunities to do so. Forget what you know about the West. What you experience in a disco in the Philippines will be vastly different than your experience in the West.
Not every where is like Angeles City either. Not every bar is filled with girls for hire.
I went to a disco last night. Local girls were dancing in front of my table in an attempt to get my attention. I wish I was in better health so I could get off my butt and dance with them. These are often extremely attractive women. They are genuine and they are beautiful. Some are stunning and I can’t believe they want my attention.
Guys, remember, don’t fall for the idea that she is a once in a life-time dream come true. There are lots of girls here dying to treat you like a king. There is no reason to let one take advantage of you. You really do have other options.
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Hey Rusty, how about telling us about the first time you met Jessie in person. I think alot of us are very interested to hear about how all that went down. Jerry
I’ve thought about this over the last few hours. So far, can’t come up with a story for it.
I had known Jessie for a couple of years and we lived on Skype doing the video and some voice.
We didn’t leave the house for three days.
You know she’s changed a lot since then. Not nearly so timid. She’s grown a lot. She was so timid, she nearly backed out. I thought she was going too.
Thanks for the suggestion but so far I just can’t come up with an entire story on the topic. Maybe my memory is not good enough.
Hi rusty, im planning to have an extended stay in the cebu area next year. While i like the girls i also want a quiet place to live. Will be on a budget so im thinking out of town a bit. can you advise
i chuckle when saying this….is there a place that is quiet…but in close proximity if get an itch..
chris
Hi Chris,
You probably have a trade off from quite and cheap vs close and exciting.
However, I lived in Talisay for a few months. A suburb of Cebu City. I had two places there. One was quite the other closer to the main street was not as quite. They were furnished apartments with near Western standards. They ran about P30,000 a month.
Now I live in Bogo City, about 120Km from Cebu City. It cost P100 to get there by aircon bus but will take about 2.5 hours. You can get a cab back to Bogo City for around P2000, a little less, possibly as low as P1500. I’ve always used the bus.
There are a lot of girls in Bogo City.
There isn’t a lot of night life but you can find what you’re looking for. I have a large four bedroom home here for P12000 a month.
There are numerous towns between here and Cebu City. Carmon might be good if you can find a place to rent that is decent.
Hi Rusty, this page is truly helpful for expats. I praise you that you took effort to write this and even produced an e-Book as help for foreigners who come into the country. Your book must be great, it might be worth to give it a look and dig some infos just for interest. I am a filipina obviously and I must admit that I felt a little embarrassed that one has to have a “Training Manual” for them to live comfortably and safely in the Philippines. But this is by far, very true. I also want to emphasize one thing, that not all “potential girlfriends” can be found in bars nor in dating sites online. I agree with what you have pointed out about living here first, then this would be the best time to “search”. In that way, you will have more chances of meeting genuine ones.
I have read a column in an international magazine once, and it describes “how easy” a caucasian can get a girlfriend in the Philippines. In a way, as a filipina myself, it hurts me but of course we cannot set the truth aside that most women really are gripping on the tip of a sharp knife that they have to “look for a husband” and take money from them – poverty apparently provokes this and for sure illiteracy. But maybe the reason why most of the foreigners got this experience is… look where did they get their women? Most are from bars, some are from provinces who knows really nothing about what’s out there. This is a bit harsh, I know, but: why one would complain that what they’ve got is a filthy trash, have you asked yourself where you got them?… In the rubbish bin!… The logic applies: if you’ll go to a bar to look for genuine ones, most likely you end up with “fly-by-night” women. But if you’ll meet them, maybe introduced by a common friend, or in formal occasions, you will be disclosed to educated, real women who genuinely sees you to be a potential husband, whether you are rich or not.
And for those who are still planning to come here in the Phils, at your retirement age it is true that you will STILL look attractive to filipinas. Once you are here, you can get a queue of young beautiful women whom all of them wants to be your wife. Don’t rush, you wouldn’t know what’s for you at the end of the line. Eventually, you will be fed up with someone who cannot even spell and who’s full-packed of dramas and lies. And again, I agree with Rusty about lying women – which is an emphasis that you must always be watchful.
Moreover, the bottomline of my point is, this is to let everybody know that NOT all filipinas are cheap.
Indicators to check:
1. Family background (jobs of parents, siblings, etc)
2. Standard of living (if they come from a slum area, the more likely that you’ll be getting the uncivilized one -sad but true)
3. Education
4. Work background of your potential girlfriend
5. Manners and etiquette
Thanks and hope even a bit, this will also awaken foreigners thinking they can get girlfriends whoever they want in the Phils, decent women in upper class are mostly the ones foreigners can hardly get. Sounds arrogant for me to say, but hope this would also uplift filipinas’ reputation.
Thanks!
Isabela
Hello Isabella,
Wow thanks for the insights and detailed comment! It is much appreciated.
You’re a little more harsh on some of the Filipina than me.
But that is okay and nothing you said strikes me as wrong.
I have never been to a gogo bar here but I know some girls that work in them. I wouldn’t call them trash. Some of them are very good people faced with earning P200 a day for 10 hours or more of work or P1500 a day or more. Some have no hope of even getting a job at P200 a day. Many have no hope. Still most wont go to work in the bars they get buy day to day. Too often marrying the wrong man or worse, giving into their basic human desires without the ability to properly protect themselves from pregnancy.
It is usually the poor Filipina that is most interested in foreigners. Sometimes it is the different culture they desire but almost always a better life is part of what they are looking for.
I agree the best place to meet a girl is right here,even on the streets as you walk down them or at the mall or the teller at the bank. Yes, they flock to us. A single foreigner in the Philippines is something in much demand but hard to find.
Men also take advantage of the Filipina. I can see how it would be very easy to do that. I could do it, probably ever week, if not ever day. I’d rather be able to live with myself.
Since I have a conscious, I just can’t do that. Filipina need to be much more careful too, from what I’ve seen.
While I’ve heard of guys doing this, breaking their heart with lies most that come here don’t do that. If they are looking for a fling they go to AC. It really is the safer thing to do.
If a guy goes around lying to Filipina he might just find himself on the receiving end of a bashing.
Me, I accept people as they are. That doesn’t mean I want to hang out with them I just wont judge them, I don’t walk in their shoes.
In courting, time is ones biggest ally I think. That is true in the Philippines and every where else.
The manual isn’t just about the dangers. I delayed coming because I didn’t know what I needed to know. I didn’t know about immigration or the cost of living.
The eBook is about much more than the dangers. I don’t think there is anything to be embarrassed about for Filipino. It is more about helping those understand the culture. It is hard to understand just how different a place this is. Different from where I came from.
Its not worse, in many ways it is better, much better. Both in safety and the choices I have by living here.
I hope to hear more of your thoughts, coming from a Filipino, I learn much. I can’t learn all I wanted to know about your country from other expats. To understand, I need to hear from Filipino. I need to hear how Filipino see things.
Thanks for your help.
Okay, this may be harsh, but maybe they should have kept this guy in that mental hospital.
$1600 per day he was sending. Your right Rusty, too bad he didn’t know about the Philippines, but being that gullible might have gotten him ripped off here too. He should have went to visit first. I’m sorry, but it’s hard for me to believe that anyone in their right mind would fall for something like this.
John, clearly the man has issues. Keep him in the hospital? He has no money, they don’t want him if he is in the USA.
I wondered how he got so much money if he was as stupid as he was in this situation. I thought he must have been smart about something. But now I wonder, did he get the money when his wife died? I don’t know.
I see guys chasing girls, they like to be the knight in shining armor and rescue the poor girl. The bar girls pray on these men. Well, some of them do. I hear pretty stunning stories but it is hard to know how much of those are true and how much of those are hype.
A guy coming here just needs to remember the rules have changed. She isn’t his only choice. He also needs to remember, they’re are very smart girls out there that know how to scam men.
There are also a lot of great Filipina out there. It is foolish to send money to anyone that you have not met and have a relationship with.
Guys, trust me on this, just don’t do it. I’ve recently become a bit more likely to say never do it. I learned the hard way. But nothing like this poor guy got took.
He still doesn’t quite believe it. I could tell, he still is not sure he was scammed. He still thinks deep down this girl is real and wants to be with him.
Quite likely someone would like to be but he should have come here first.
If they girls knows you’re overseas, she knows you can’t touch her but that you can send her money!
I agree with isabela. I got foreign clients with Filipina wives and all of them were blessed with a wonderful family. Some of them retirees and missionaries. Most of their wives have a degree in college and have a profession. They have businesses here too. Their love stories were real and was build from friendship and courtship, not in bars and booze.
Merry CHRISTmas sir.
btw i was curious so i visited your site, it appeared when i google “$300,000 wire money to the Philippines”
Hi Spyfrat, interesting search term to find my site. Probably because I have an free ebook about sending money to the Philippines and this article mentions $300,000.
Meeting a girl in an AC bar is probably the worst way to do it.
Online is probably the second worst way.
A walk down to the park is an excellent way though.
If you googled “$300,000 wire money to the Philippines”
I think I want to be your new best friend! hahahahaaa
How could that guy in the video not know that the woman in those pictures is a famous porn star? I mean come on!
I wouldn’t know either because I don’t watch it. When I was younger but it just bores me now.
Professionals just don’t do a thing for me but don’t want to go into details here! haha
I forgot how many times he went to meet her and she didn’t show up. That’s the part that boggles my mind. Stupid yes. I’ve been stupid, what man hasn’t been when it comes to women but I don’t think I’ve ever been that stupid. Though the stuff I put up with my second X, that was pretty stupid.
I just got back from a month in the Ph. At first I did not like red-horse beer during my previous visits. Now, bud-light tasts like funny water.
I wrote alot and erased alot. I just erased again. Phsycology is not a science. A dirt poor, ignorant Filipina may not be bad. Thats the thing about humanity. American trueisms have now evolved into doggma: Dirty is bad, poor is bad, creepy parents are bad, criminals are bad. It’s so sick in America once we were forced to quit calling negros bad and you can’t do this and go there it’s CRIMINAL BACKGROUND CHECKS now in America to be prejudice against…………..Isabel hmmmmmmmmmmm………
The golden rule: Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
My dad said: “You get what you pay for”.
My mom said: “Don’t be a nasty boy, G-d is watching you”.
My teachers always said: “You get out of it what you put into it”.
My Leprechaun under my bed always says: “Don’t take life too seriously me laddy cause you’ll never get out of it alive”.
in reference to isabela’s input.
One does not have to meet the cream of the crop in the P.I. I met my first girl friend in 2005 and moved to cebu.We lived in new town in the baranga of pardo. The place cost $700.00 a month,furnished. It was a mansion with 4 bedrooms and driver and servants quarters.much more than needed.So we moved in part of her family that worked in cebu. One sister was a lawyer,another 2 were government workers.Good families. The romance did not work out. She was a good person but lied to me about something and that broke it up. She married an american in 2006 and lives in the U.S.A.with her 2 daughters.To me they were good people.One small problem, Honesty.
Then I met a woman via the internet.I met with her in Manila and we lived in Olongapo.Subic was within walking distance. Rent was $100.00 a month,unfurnished.We lived with the natives.I had no problem making friends with the men and women I met there.Some were shy others were not.You have to slow down when meeting people they are not as fast as we are.I lived in Olongapo from 2006 to 2007.14 months. moved back to the u.s. and have lived here since.We have been married 5 years in May.
We have 5 other couples that are Philapinas with american husbands that we visit once a week with. All the men are retired.Some of the Philapina’s work. My wife finds it hard here. Everything is expensive.She is able to save $10,000 a year. She feels it is not enough.She is looking forward to moving back to the P.I.When ever I want to.She is saving all she can to build a home there.When we move I will sell the farm and buy a place there for her.I have noticed there are no raises in social security for the last 2 years.Food has doubled in a few short months.If you feel you cannot afford to live in the P.I. don’t come to america,you surely wont be able to survive here without a good job. Jobs are hard to come by unless you are in the medical field.My wife is 39 years younger than I am and it doesnt seen to be a problem.Philapinas take care of their men much better than american women do.I look forward to moving back to the P.I. in the next few years
ken
Ken, well said and with good diplomacy too boot.
I don’t see anything I disagree with in you’re post.
If you can’t afford to live in the Philippines, you are going to h ave a very hard time outside the Philippines. But, some insist on having the same living standard here. Central air, centralized hot water, private transportation, fantastic electronics, all of which you can have here but you’re going to pay for it. Yes, most things are much cheaper here.
And the poor girls are just fine. They don’t have to be upper class at all. In fact, many of those will not be the least interested in a foreigner. Especially one that is 25 or more years older than her. But they are often the cream too, they are just poor.
Hi Rusty. If you decide not to allow(delete) this post i understand:)
i am a nurse and, as i am sure you already know, there are MANY nurses from the philipines here in the usa. i am a single guy and have worked/do work with alot of them. my experience has been that the male nurses from the philippines are easy going, easy to work with and in general respectful while really going out of their way to avoid direct conflict.
that said, i see no different in the behavior between the female nurses from the philippines i have worked with and american females i have worked with. my best friend in nursing school was a guy from the the filiipines and he even apologized to me and another female student for the behavior we witnesses by them at a hospital. when i questioned him, he told me that that is how women from the philippines tend to act when they get in groups. (they were not friendly at all in that particular incident)
that friend has been married for many years to the same filipina and has the exact same issues in his marriage that i had when i was married and, from what i have observed, most people have in their marriages.
i am single and my experience along those lines(healthy single guy), even with the filipinas that are married, has been exactly like american women. (i won’t go into details because this is a family friendly site). i totaly agree with your observations that the women there have an unusual beauty. i often have to remind myslf not to stare at some of my filipina coworkers.
I AM NOT slandering people from the philippines but am only describing my PERSONAL experiences. i am wondering if you have heard of similiar experiences. is it because they change after coming to the usa? is it possible expats sugar coat their experiences? is it possible the women treat expats different in the philippines than if they were to meet them in the usa?
i have been to a bunch of countries and have found people to be people. in general, if you treat them with respect they will reciprocate but find there are different local customs.
after all this said, i still plan on going to the philippines and am very open to finding the people are just as many expats describe. i suspect that the only way i will get answers to some of my questions is to go see for myself.
Rhod, I’ll have to read your post in full later, I’m on a tiny netbook and I can’t see well.
I wouldn’t delete your post for disagreeing with me if that is what you mean.
Rhod, a over seas Filipino worker is completely different than a Filipina living in the Philippines. There is no comparison. Though, Filipino living over seas are very loyal to their wonderful country most have changed quit a bit.
I’ve never had a harsh word from a Filipino living here, when I’ve had negative feedback from Filipino, in every case they no longer live here. It just isn’t that same.
I certainly act more like a Filipino than I use too. I’ve taken on the culture where I live. I’m far more laid back for one but there are many others ways. I’m still very Western of course but I’ve changed and someone living in another country will almost always change or they will go back to where they came from.
Rusty,
I am going to relate something I saw ,while working in the Sheriffs Dept.Where I worked for * 1/2 yrs.
Shortly after I started working there. A filippina was brought in , I was told she was back again for writing bad checks.
She was absolutely gorgeous and would have been so even with out the surgical enhancement! QQ She was married to some rich guy. and they lived in an exclusive area of the county.
Over the years I worked there. She came through the jail several times.
I am guessing that her rich husband paid some pretty good money to get her off each time.
Then just before I left the dept. she was back again. This time she was going to be tried and most likely going to be sent to prison. Which is what happened. Her hubby couldn’t buy her way out any more. And she did get convicted and sent to prison.
No I know not all filippina’s are like that. though I have heard several people say that they love their Filippina but wont give them an ATM card. Some of them just don’t understand finances.
I also know of some others that are hard working and at times rather frugal to say the least.
Some one
on this site or another. Said he was going to bring his girl to the states to see how she liked it! I say” Why spoil them that way?? go to the Fills and live there!”
no disrespect meant to anyone. but as they say ” if the shoe fits ? Wear it!”
Marc
Jessie pays our bills, she has my two of my ATM cards much more than I do.
She never had any money to manage in the beginning so I kept a closer watch on it and provided guidance.
I’be wiling to bet you the percentage of Filipino writing bad checks in the USA is MUCH lower than that of the rest of the population.
Doesn’t sound like that girl needed to write bad checks. I wonder if he got her out of a bar. Maybe she grew up in the USA. That’s not the same thing. Filipino that grew up in the USA usually cherish there Filipino heritage but they sometimes don’t have a lot in common when it comes to values and behaviors with Filipino living in the Philippines. I’m gonna hack someone off with that statement, I know.
Some might but the Filipino I know that grew up the West are very different. That is a small number. I knew one beautiful girl, she called her self “FlipChick” online. I had no idea what that meant back then.
Beautiful girl but really nasty personality.
Rusty,and Isabela,
I agree. this woman was a bad apple, a dam good looking one. But she had a major flaw. She liked shopping.And she didn’t take time to balance her check book.
I have been married twice and I am 62. My first marriage lasted ten yrs.
When that marriage broke up, I raised my daughter by myself for 8yrs. Had I been asked at the time. I most likely would have told my wife to take her.I was not offered a choice. Now many years later I would not have traded that experience for anything. I shared many things with my daughter that her mother missed.
I was single for a very long time, 1980-2000. And I dated a number of women. I also left Miami Florida for North Florida, Big difference!
I met my present wife online. But it wasn’t a dating site. SWE did the e-mail thing for like two months added phone calls and a couple of weeks.
I finally got to take her after like 2 1/2 months. A month later I took her out again, ( schedule conflict, I was working shift work for the Sheriffs dept)She was at that time a special Ed teacher with w Masters in that filed.
A month after the first date we went out again. Then I was told to be at the annual Awards Banquet, I figured what the hell . I’ll ask her and if she says no. I try to find someone else.( she had a problem with my job gee I don’t know why???)Well she accepted and the relationship took off like a Tell Star rocket. That was in the beginning of May. In Setember I asked her to marry me. We got Married Dec 10th ,2000. Oh did I mention that she is black. I have always as far back as I can remember had an eye for women of color whatever that color maybe or women of mixed race.
Of the many things my wife does, for me she pays the bills fixes my meds . And when we are out she points out the eye candy!!!
Her theory is feed the fire!!! as long as he brings it home to me!(her)
And we have also had some rough times. but we are still together.And there were many at the wedding who said it wouldn’t last. Funny , but all but 3-4 of all the couples at the wedding are still together.
During the long time that I was single I learned. That I often found the most interesting women. When I wasn’t looking. And that dating a woman I met in a bar was not a good way to find a women ( for the most part).
So now I am relatively happy I have a good wife and we have two good dogs. But I want to move to the Phillippines!
Be Well
Marc
Hello Rusty,
Thank you for your time and efforts here. I am a single and sometimes lonely man living in the USA, and I have found all of your ideas and suggestions here to be very useful. Like all men seeking a good woman to marry, I have experienced all the things you have mentioned here, and I really thank you for your support and great advise!
God Be With You Always,
Randy
Hi Randy, yeah I know lonely is really no fun. I believe it to be the worst emotion we can have. I went through a very lonely time in my thirties. i was such a mess and very sick too but mostly no confidence at all and that turns a woman off faster than anything.
I spent years alone. It is no fun. They say it is possible to die of loneliness, I don’t believe it. I would have died.
I’m not always right, far from it but the dangers I point out about love in the Philippines, nearly all of it is from personal experience. Some of it comes from others that have seen far worse than me. Having your wife tell you on your wedding night that she doesn’t love him. That basically she scammed him the entire way is probably the worst I’ve seen. That wasn’t me.
That’s okay it backfired on her. He went to Guam and divorced her there. Seems she was counting on the no divorce in the Philippines thing. Cost him five grand and more pain that he was willing to disclose.
You can though find real love her and be treated like a king by the woman you love. Even if you can’t live like one and I can’t, I know you can feel like one.
Good luck with your search, keep the chin up, it can happen.
I just saw your photo album here, great work Rusty! I have not been to the Phils, so this is very helpful!
You are a very lucky man Rusty – your wife looks very much in Love with you! God has Blessed You!
I know he has, trust me, I know.
I have everything. It would be a lot to loose.
I just found this thread and love it. I see this discussion has been going on for a while. I hope I’m not too late for the party.
I chatted with my wife via web cam for nearly 2 years before I met her. Once I met her and brought her here, there were no surprises. We saw eachother day to day for a long time. It was a painfully long wait, but worth it.
I had a lot of time on my hands before I went to go see her. I chatted with hundreds of filipinas. An important rule of thumb when meeting a filipina online is this: “If they mention sex or money, drop them immediately.” The good girls know better. The good girls simply will not go there. The bad girls always do.
I fully agree that there a lots of bad apples out there but no shortage of good one’s. There are a lot of good points above. I wholeheartedly agree that the bar scene is not where you want to go looking.
If you want to find an angel, go to any of the large churches there. I guarantee you will find a good woman praying for someone just like you.
I also think it is important to realize these women are financially desperate. Somehow, you have to separate their neediness from whether they are genuinely interested in a relationship with you.
I didn’t see anything I could disagree with. I would caution that there are plenty of scamming Filipina in the churches too. And I have known guys that found their girl in the bar, working girls.
Jessie and I were friends for a year. Although about six months into it, she went missing for three days and I was very worried the last day and a half. Turned out to be nothing other than the Internet connection n the cafe she worked at was dead. I did tell her then that she meant more to me than i realize and she replied with something like “It took you that long to realize it.” There was no romance though for several more months. We just talked a lot. She was my friend as my second marriage dissolved. I was done fighting for that woman. That woman wanted to come back about a month after she left me but it was too late, it was much too late. Jessie and I became a couple during that time. it took me another year and a half to get here.
I think we are kidding ourselves if we think that one thing that makes us attractive to many women in the Philippines is the hope for a better life. I don’t have any problem with that. If you’re going to choose a mate, it should be for you. If you’re not getting anything out of it, if she is not getting something out of it, if it isn’t make her life better, then something is wrong. Women have been looking for men to provide for 1000′s of years. While it is less necessary in some cultures these days, it is still in our genes. it is human. Women have been caring for men for 1000′s of years, healing the wounds of the hunt in those years gone by. Generally women are even better suited for this physically. Their stronger sense of smell is thought to help the detect infection, maybe without them even being aware of it.. Of course if that is all the relationship is based on, it won’t survive.
Some women, more and more I think, rebel against women being second class to many. Wives not allowed to leave their home without their husbands is still common but I wouldn’t say it is the standard way any more. It isn’t. It is still common though. I know that Jessie is not attracted to pinoy so for her and many others it isn’t just the money. They prefer the behavior of Western men. I’ve seen a lot of controlling Western men though. We certainly are not devoid of that trait. Someone that is good at controlling the situation probably increases his chance of a kill during the hunt, again, it is in our genes.
I should say that I’ve seen online relationship that lasted for sometime but blue up in person. Long term serious worked for me but I wouldn’t do it that way again if I ever found myself in that situation again. I’m quite certain I wont be in that situation again. Jessie will be my last love one way or another.