I’ve said it many times, to live in the Philippines is like stepping onto a new planet for many. This is less true perhaps for military people that have traveled the world. It is less true for those that have traveled outside of North America. If you’re like me though, a guy that never stepped out of Canada or the USA, you probably cannot wrap your head around what life is like here.
I see comments and questions a lot that remind me of how I was before setting foot in the Philippines. Just setting foot in it didn’t tell me how different it was. It took a little while but it did not take long.
I had been here only a few days, sitting on the back of a tricycle, traveling in a way that was
Family On A Trike
so vastly different than I’m use to. It was hot, uncomfortable and rusty. The trike had lots of rust and compared to American standards very unsafe. At least it felt that way to me and it probably is unsafe compared to American standards. Even if someone would use such a service in the USA, I doubt it would be legal. If kids can’t sell lemonades in the USA without a permit, I just don’t see this kind of transportation get past the regulations.
Legalities are Major Reason it is Different to Live in the Philippines
It is not unusual for someone to live in the Philippines because of a reduction in regulations. As someone that hates for the government to get into my personal life and tell me what I can do, what I can’t do and lately what I must do really bugs me. Though by no means am I a civil libertarian to the degree of Ron Paul, that is what I am. I’m a fan of capitalism but I also know that the powerful will often trample all over the less powerful when they can.
Looking at the TV ads that American produces run here will give on a clue to that. I couldn’t believe some of the claims I saw soap peddlers making in the Philippines when I first got here. I never had any delusions about advertisements, of course their job is to make you want to buy the product. I realize though these companies will often say anything to sell their product. And here, they often can and do.
I was reminded of some of the difference in legalities a few days ago. A woman in Mindanao was arrested for helping human traffickers. The charge had to do with obstruction of justice. I posted an article about that in our new Philippines forum. The article reminded me that one of the differences in the Philippines is that entrapment is often used to catch a “bad guy.”
Not only is it okay, it seems to be encouraged. Police often speak of buy/bust operations in the Philippines. This usually is related to drug dealers and it is commonly called entrapment. They don’t wait for the dealer to approach them, they approach the suspected dealer. It matters not that they enticed the person to make the sell. Only that he made it. Now I doubt many of you that want to live in the Philippines are coming to push drugs. However, if you do choose to live in the Philippines the point to understand is you are choosing to live in this Asian society.
You choose to give up some regulations yes but that cuts both ways. You also give up some protections that Americans enjoy. I can really only write on this topic from an American perspective as I don’t know the details of other Western nations. Travel is cheaper here, probably in part due to less regulation. Cars are cheaper here. I suspect a lot of those lower prices have to do with a lot less regulation that American car makers must adhere too.
It gets more complicated though. One of the most mind grabbing encounters I’ve ever had in the Philippines came when I was reading a local paper. Something someone new to the Philippines should do often. The stories can be a little hard to follow. Sometimes because of the obvious use of different terms, like double dead meat. Sometimes it is because the writers refer to facts not in the article. Sometimes they even say it is in the article. My guess is the editors removed that part but not the reference. For a long time I thought I was just not reading closely enough. That wasn’t it.
One day while reading the paper at Jollibee’s, I read an interview from the director or chief of the Philippines Drug Enforcement Agency (PDEA). He was freely admitting to the policy of planting drugs on “known dealers.” He explained something like if we know they are dealing and we can’t catch them with the drugs, we plant the drugs on them! Wow, did that blow my mind. I had very strong feelings on this matter. One of my next lessons was that I also do not have freedom of speech here and that it is best if I keep my strong feelings to myself.
I wrote a pretty strong article about that. A few days later I noticed Philippines government agencies on my website. I can see where people come from and the names of their ISPs in my stats. Business and government agencies often have IPs assigned to them. I use to have IPs assigned to me because I have about ten servers running on a “rack.”
When I learned about my speech limitations, I went back and edited that article. I think that is the only time I’ve ever done that for reasons such as these. I almost always see errors in my articles a few days after I write them. Spelling and word usage and things like that which irritate me about myself to no end. But to pull back on an opinion, I don’t do that much.
I had put my ability to live in the Philippines in danger. Filipinos do not appreciate foreigners that live in the Philippines to “meddle in their internal affairs.” I used some really strong language. I will not even repeat what I said here because I wish to continue to live in the Philippines. I don’t think I have even said if my strong opinion was in favor or against it in this article. 🙂
The Choice To Live In the Philippines is Different but not Necessarily Bad
Living in the Philippines will change your life. If you are accepting of the ways of others then
I think you can have a wonderful life in the Philippines. Those obsessed with “my way is better” are going to have a problem. if you’re truly obsessed with it then you’ll be thinking about it all the time. I don’t always like the ways here but I can work it out. If you think the difference are bad or if you think they are good really depends on the way you think. The way you think doesn’t make you bad or good. It is just the way you are. For me, the same applies to the Philippines. Its not bad nor good, its just different.
Not all the differences in the Philippines are negative. Some of them are dang nice. Have you seen the ladies here? haha Wait till you find out how they treat you. Find yourself a girl that is not too Westernized, an easy thing to do, and you’ll have no problem seeing what I mean in most cases.
The ways the Philippines are different are vast and way too much to cover in one article. These are some of the things that gave me valuable lessons on the way things work in the Philippines. They taught me just how different it is to live in the Philippines rather than the USA.
Filed under: Living In The Philippines
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Wow those are very strong words. i admire you for keeping up with how things are here. maybe you found a reason to stay perhaps a woman hehehe.
Tnx Rusty. That was good. 🙂
Hi Leo, your welcome. Thank you! 🙂
“He was freely admitting to the policy of planting drugs on “known dealers.” He explained something like if we know they are dealing and we can’t catch them with the drugs, we plant the drugs on them!”
And I don’t see what is wrong with that! For far too long we in the west has been hindered by political correctness and too much rights given to criminals that nowadays, they (the criminals) have more than rights than the victims!
Only a few days ago, I was reading about Davao’s mayor warning repeat offenders to watch out. I have been hearing rumors of “vigilante” groups in Davao targeting criminals. Wished we have Politicians like that here in Australia. Well, we did awhile back, but the media and our major politcal parties destroyed her political aspirations because she would not abide by political correctness. If you’re a spade, she would call you a shovel! 🙂
I agree with Margaret …. criminals should have the odds stacked heavily against them. In the UK, drug dealers and other criminals laugh at the police for the lack of power the police have.
As long as the police are certain who the drug dealers and other criminals are (and I think they often know) then they should throw everything at them.
So I support the action of the Philippines police and the Mayor of Davao.
Yea… I used to think it would be great to be able to “plant” drugs on some of the people I was sure were dealers until a guy I know doesn’t deal drugs had them planted on him. What a wake up and change in attitude I had. It is OK until they plant them on you or your loved ones.
You have to draw a line. Either you have laws and follow them(even when you don’t want to) or you don’t. That is one major difference between a third world and first world country. It is called corruption when you plant drugs. Some people support it as long as it is in their favor but until you are the victim of corrupt law enforcement you don’t truly appreciate a country that has laws and trys to follows them.
As long as a people consider that type of behavior acceptable they will never break out of the agony of being a third world country.
Good point Rhod their is also the poroblem of corrupt officers and those out for personal gain or reasons that can be a huge problem as well.
And personally after spending some time in PI recently I am much more forgiving and understanding to minor criminals who see it as the only way for some kind of decent life. Don’t get me wrong crime is wrong but there are different levels. Hurting someone for ones own gain or enjoyment is of coarse always wrong. But a little stealing from the wealthy becomes more understandable if you really try to understand their life.
I can forgive a hungry person stealing to be fed but I can’t forgive a government official for being corrupt. Unfortunately, the people will not be able to change their conditions until the culture of government greed and corruption is changed. That said, I also know it is not the place of an expat to try to change it or become involved in any way except maybe to sit around and pretend they know the answers to the big problems.:) Oh.. I should say I am not an expat…yet.
Rhod, do we really know there is a lot of corruption in the Philippines government?
It is a serious question. It seems to be generally held common knowledge but at the same time, I don’t know of any. From time to time someone gets busted for it. There have been some practices within the brass of the military that came to light lately. That seems to have been addressed though I’m sure that some abuse are ongoing. I really don’t know one way or the other.
It isn’t just held by foreigners, this believe of widespread corruption is common among Filipino.
The secrecy in banking seems to leave the doors wide open for it. That too isn’t real evidence. If a door is there some will use it but many may choose another door.
I suppose it is one of those things that we will not ever know. It is one of those things I’d really like to know.
That’s intriguing to me. Not directed at you but human behavior in general.
I guess I’m the oddball out again. It sure seems that way to me.
Two things going on here.
Most of us seem to apply our perceptions to others.
It Only Happens To The Other Guy
I suppose to some extent, seeing the world through our own eyes is the most natural way. I think though with effort we can do better.
I keep worrying that I’m going to sound critical towards you and that’s not my intent at all. You seem normal to me, I’m the odd one. Though, I will admit sometimes I think being odd is the better way.
Perhaps if we thought bad crap would happen to use, we’d all be too afraid to get out of bed. haha Since I tend to expect the worst and be happy when it doesn’t happen. Oh that’s not really a good thing, it has advantages but it keeps me anxious.
I’m really making observations here about humans, not you.
I do agree with your two observations. I don’t consider any part of your post an attack on me. The rest left me a little confused but that is easy to do:)
One of my weaknesses is that I tend to see some things like a computer. Yes and no, so sometimes I say things that seem like a criticism because such a thing would be to most people. To me it just either is or it is not. So I try to remember to stay on guard for that.
I probably confused you because I don’t think I have the subject figured out. As to why there are so many people complaining.
Wow, are you serious Stewart and Sarah? In the states, it’s not “Innocent until proven guilty”, it’s really guilty until proven innocent. Anything you say WILL be used against you! They’ll freeze your accounts and you won’t even know why until you have an officer at your front door with a warrant for your arrest… Then you go through the process of defending yourself, thousands, sometimes even hundreds of thousands of dollars. Due process? I don’t think so.
Can you tell something like this has happened to me? There’s thousands of other people that have experienced this. And what you’re saying is that it’s ok to plant drugs on known drug dealers?
How can they be sure? If they’re sure, then they’ll catch them with the drugs. It’s not just about knowing, you have to have the evidence. So before you say the Planting Drugs is a good thing, I think you should think twice. It’s not right.
Well Rusty, I just got back from 70 days in the Philippines and will hopefully moving their full time by June.(if you know of any companies that need a really good SEO guy let me know).
I have lived in the Philippines twice before and visit often. The ONLY guys that I think have a hard time are people that simply cannot take a deep breath and step back and relax. And people that want the Philippines to be like the United States.
I do not want the Philippines to be like the United States. I love the Philippines because it is so different in so many ways than America. In almost every case I like the differences.
Maybe I am weird but I do not think so. I have many foreign friends that live in the Philippines. And I have many more foreigners that I am casual friends with. We all are sort of amazed at how difficult it is for some foreigners to adjust. Let me give an example.
I stayed at a hotel in Makati, Manila. There was a Canadian that also stayed there. This guy was one of the most rude, obnoxious, and ridiculous person I have ever met. He bitched about EVERYTHING. Was totally condenscending to filipinos right in front of them…and this guy wondered why no one liked him!
He kept on saying “well in Canada it is not like this!” Ok, then get your butt back in Canada. The Philippines is not Canada, it is not America, it is not like anywhere else. It is the Philippines. There are great things in the Philippines and things that can be very frustrating. If all a person does is focus on the negatives they will not be happy.
I do not ignore the negatives, but I focus mainly on the positives. And there are many positives to living in the Philippines. I cannot imagine not living in the Philippines. I love it that much.
I have encountered a number of people that used to live in the Philippines but for one reason or another moved back to America. Probably 98% of them cannot wait to get back to the Philippines. They realize now that their life in the Philippines may have been frustrating at times, but it is actually a very good lifestyle as long as you have a little money.
You said it is not “bad or good, just different.” I mostly agree but with a caveat. I think it is good and sometimes it is bad…but it is surely different and for me…it is absolutely the BEST place I have ever been.
Did you notice I choose to stay out of the conversations abut the PDEA admitting to plant drugs. 🙂
No, I did not notice.
Differences between Philipinnes and Australia.
Greater respect and acknowledgement for age and seniority, gender differences being less relavent bye and large though occupations tend to be gender specific.
Have met people in the west offended by the elderly as if their age were contagious.
Dogs don’t seem to be hostile toward cats and cats don’t view dogs as a threat, they co-existing harmoniously.
Cutlery on meal table consists of fork and spoon, knife being conspicuous by its absence, salt and pepper, our standard condiments not made available.
People her use umbrella when riding motor and pedal bikes.
Tricycle “taxis” have soft plastic enclosure mostly for rain but to keep sun off also. People here tan darkly quickly and like to be pale so need to be out of the sun. Women especially are conscious of this using “whitening” lotion often to bleach the skin. Wextern peoples often aspire to become tanned.
Long distance “taxi” bikes have permanent over head cover for shelter from elements.
As many as can fit on a motor bike , up to 6 people, ride at one time. On one occasion when in Chiang mai I observed 5 people on one bike all using mobile phones while in transit, this including the rider, it no different here, quite extraordinary.
Windows and doors often un-nessecary. This an advantage given the prevailing humidity. This not a reflection on security as guards at business premises are standard practice and high fences security gates are often deemed nessecary in more affluent homes.
Cold showers, absence or general unavailability of hot water unless manually boiled. This was a shock 1st off and took some getting used to but having aclimatised to it am finding cold shower refreshing and soothing being able to notice the heat leaving the body.
Siesta standard practice mid afternoon. This lasting for aprox 1 hour.
People generally fearful of getting wet, particularly from rain they understanding it promotes sickness. Me, coming from a place where, some times it doesn’t rain for a year, I am not subject to this phobia.
Uncool to wear foot wear in the home. This makes for less input being required in general maintenance of living quarters and facilitates a more sensuous appreciation of the domestic environment. Foot wear is left at the door.
People here enjoy their pasta, spaghetti called pansat, spaghetti bolognaise / melonaise popular but no olive oil here, any amount of palm oil available but not same taste experience, any how, tastes ok to Philipinno but it not the real McCoy to one who knows what it should taste like.
The Phipipinno not know how to use air conditioner, thinking it pleasure to be very cold, even if it results in phneumonia.
No blankets here, they not usually nessecary unless the former entry is at play. Two sheets is all one needs here under normal circumstances.
Tea leaves and percolating coffee almost unheard of, coffee wise locals opting for sachet coffee, either with sweetener and whitener or with out. Tea wise no leaf tea though a chemical cocktail making iced tea is available though I generally drink it hot. The Philipinno not much into hot drinks. Can understand that given the climate but I became accustomed to these when residing in temperate climate. UHT milk available at bigger retail outlets. Think most processed foods use nutrasweet in stead of sugarv though genuine sugar is readily available. Intent on purchasing tea leaves and real coffee when in an international location such as Cebu or Manila next. Have coffee percolater but not used it here yet.
Leo Cooper HI Leo, nice summary of some of the cultural differences. Some of the things are dead on but not all of them apply to areas.
The Philippines is highly regional, even the trikes are different. We don't have a difference in long distance trikes and short distance, they all have the canopy. Though sometimes I do see motorcycle drivers offering rides during very busy times but not often. I haven't seen regular bikes up for hire on a regular bases in any place I've been. Sounds like you have and it doesn't surprise me. Was it very rural?
Most of the other specifics, all of them actually have been written about me and are common differences. I got a kick out of your old age is not contagious. But I hope it is, I'd like to get there, someday.
Really respect is the key to understanding Filipino culture. You're long comment is very appreciated. If I covered all that in one article, it would probably take 10,000 words. 🙂 Thanks much!
Cool Rusty, my pleasure, wrote that for folks back home and thought I would use it here, the appraisal is regional with my experience of Philipinnes limited 90% to Baybay and environs.
My experience to other areas is too limited as well. We do what we can. At times people have been upset with me because I say something is one way or another in the Philippines. Usually a Filipino that cannot imagine what I’m saying is true. Yet I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
It doesn’t happen in their part of the Philippines though.
It sounds like you’re having a wonderful time exploring the differences of the Philippines. Keep up that great attitude!
When i go! I only compare it to camping…Somethings i'm use to are there and somethings are not! Good thing we have family!
I have lived in the Philippines for nearly ten years now. I have also lived in many other countries. I am English, and 81 years old. I am married to a lovely Philippino women age 31. we have been togeather over Four years now. She is (as she keeps reminding me)4-8 and a quarter tall, packs a punch and is extremly jealous and possessive. she is pretty and petite. I love her to bits. And supprise supprise she loves me to. How does it work you ask? 81 and 31 does not go?? who says so? We made a deal I will look after her and in return she will look after me. we both have kept to our promise. We have had our rows and fights, who dosent but her age my age never comes into the issue, Yes we are from two very different cultures. The secrete is to try to understand each others customs. make allowences for them . Learn from each other , learn to trust,comunicate, have tolerance, and most off all compromise .
I hate the foreners who treat their girlfrinds as servants, because they have the money they think they have the power, they are in some way better than the philopino. you have alot to learn.
I do have one advantage over younger men in a relationship. I can be all things to my lovely wife . A companion, confesser, lover, mother and father figure, and a teacher. I am all these things. but I do learn a lot from my companion too. Yes I do have the money but we use it to make our lives easier. She often tell me how lucky she is to have found me and the fact I chose her from all the other girls. BUT I tell her no, you have got it wronge, I am the lucky one.
The philippines you eather hate it or you love it. ME I love it here for many reasons. Yes,I can complain about so many things, But think befor you do and ask yourself , Am I so perfect. You all have a nice day.
Papa TERRY (Forgive my spelling)
Great comments and perspectives on life Terry I am sure that is what in large part makes your life and the lives of the ones close to you better.
As to violence, muggings, stealing. Here in the Philippines I have to say I feel safer here than in London. England. I have only seen a gun fired here in anger once, that was in Sabang. The reason, one of my own countrymen fighting, the policeman fired into the air to stop them. Yes there is violence here but I feel no more than anywhere else. I do agree with one comment just made, That is here we see more poverty than most places we see it every day, When I was in Brazil I think there is was worse, and where there is poverty , hunger, you get violence, let me put it to you , If your family, wife or child was hungry or ill , through no fault of your own, And some guy was flashing his money around in a bar spending in one evening on drink another to feed your family and buy some medicine for your child. What would you do? Me I would take his money and feed the ones I love. Yes you will say but that’s wrong, I will admit I don’t condone this action. But be honest, we all have to survive in this selfish, materialistic, greedy world.
One of the things that will surprise some foreigners is that in spite off their poverty. The Pilipino are always smiling, they are a happy people. A simple people. Sometimes I feel guilty at my lifestyle here, I am lucky. But I cannot be responcible or blamed for the poverty here. But sometimes it good to give a little. And smile as they do when you get angry. It goes a long way here.
Terry
I think foreigners who come here to live sometimes treat the Pilipino with contempt, mainly because they feel superior, for whatever resone. They think every one here has to jump to obey them or serve them, and will say this would not happen where I come from, Okay maybe it would not, but then, why did you come here in the first place?? I to have a very organised and orderly life in England, every thing to hand. I came to the Philippines on a visit, I was fascinated, by its culture , its upside down world so different to any other country I have been to , Its imperfections, its lack off home comforts, its laid back lifestyle. Its lack off discipline, Unless you have lived here you would not understand how I felt , It was almost as if time was standing still, Yes you had to wait a little longer to be served your drink or meal as the girls chatted and laughed amongst themselves. Yes the driving is terrible but you get used to it. I have driven here for ten years and I am 81 years old and only had one accident. (Proven not to be my fault)
I have seen road rage in England many times but never here. For some reason or other the lack off discipline, the lack of any driving regulations, works in a strange way here, every one wants to be first, yet every one gives way, as if it’s my turn today, yours tomorrow. After a while if you have any sense you learn to drive like they do. And leave your badge of advanced driver at home. I do believe that a lot of foreigners get them selves into trouble here because they think with there dic== and not with their brains.
Terry
Rusty, I can’t tell you from personal experience one way or the other about the corruption. My information comes either from the hours I have spent reading about others experiences, some online Philippine news or a source of information I have not seen anyone else refer to.
I work with a lot of Philippine citzens that have come to the USA. Almost everyone of them came from a very poor background in PI but have been successful here even by American standards. I think they might get tired of me questioning them:)
From these coworkers I get a description of the Philippines and a way of life that I rarely see mentioned at expat sites.
I still get a positive view of the Philippines (mostly from expats) and am still planning to see for myself. I will be looking for the good side when I get there.
Here is the problem with reading what others say. I’ve been living here for four years. And most of what I hear, especially on forums is not anything like what I’ve found the Philippines to be.
Even in my own forums, I have people in there saying things about the Philippines that just isn’t accurate. But if you follow them, what hey say isn’t very accurate on any subject.
When I think about specific people in government in the Philippines, I usually think pretty highly of them. A lot of people seem disappointed with the current president. To me, he seems like an honest guy that truly wants more for his country. That’s more than you can say about a lot of politicians around the world.
I’ve seen the same stories repeated by different people in the Philippines. They take them as their own and retell them as if it happened to them.
I know I expected to be ripped off, stolen from, defrauded and extorted at every turn of the corner when I first got here.
Oh, I’ve had a few scamming Filipina try to relieve me of some cash. haha That’s it. I would greatly discount the things people tell you.
Now maybe back in the 70’s and 80’s it was different. I’m sure it was. A lot of that was likely hype too.
I’ll keep watching for this massive corruption. I suspect though, I could find much more back in the good ole USA.
Sure there is corruption here just like in the USA but I don’t think it is prevalent. I don’t think most are involved in it in either place. I will keep looking for evidence of it.
I am beginning to think that a lot of this is based on the human emotion of envy. I think people think to themselves “I’m not rich but others are, I’m just as good as them. They must be stealing it.”
To and for a certain (jmieles) who wrote a very scathing attack on older men who marry or live with younger philipino girls. I objet to your unwarented remarks. I am not a sex maniac.I don’t want a women just to lord over her. as you put it (like a King) I don’t want to dominate any ONE much less my wife I would like to see you try , where do you get all this rubbish from and your young bigoted percepsion of older people. YOU ARE SO NARROW MINDED. I suppose the girls who marry older men are sluts according to your perception. You have a very small tiny little mind. I am glad you married some one just two years differance, if it had been three years you would have caused a scandel and been drummed out of the brownies. MaybE it just jelousy on your part who knows what goes on in your little village mind.
Terry
Terry,
I’ve been watching your comments for the last couple of days and I’m confused. 🙂
The first one out of the blue talking about your younger girl. Good for you, no really, I mean good for you. I really don’t get it when people feel they need to attack guys for that. If they attacked me, I’d just laugh. I could really care less.
But now you mention “jmieles?” Who the heck is that? Are you on the right website? One of us is confused. Or maybe you think John Miele was talking to you when he mentioned Terry. He wasn’t talking to you. There was another Terry here who was upset over having to pay a fine of 103 peso’s a day for overstaying. It had nothing to do with you. Another guy with the same first name.
The other day you took me on. Oddly though you turned around and seem to be agreeing with me. Left me wondering if you just read the title of the article and didn’t read the article. Assumed what I had to say because you’ve heard it before. I have heard what I think you thought I was going to say but I don’t think I said what you thought I was going to say. I don’t know man. You’re confusing me.
Rusty. I did not take you on as you call it , just disergreed with you. As for jmieles he implied that most off us older men here were sex maniacs and alot off other things which got up my nose. I now realise it was on another forum , sorry about that. I did read your article not just the title, I wrote other comments about the philippines having lived here for over ten years and feel I do know a little about that subject too. Were you or are you confused about them. I think they inpart agree with your thinking. As I said sometimes I may not agree with what you say or think. if every one did it would be booring. But yes I also read your comments with intreast and agree with most of them. I wish you well . have a nice day. TERRY
When you start a comment with a combative phrase like “Rusty, there you go again” you are “taking me on.” I’m not at all confused on that topic.
Again, where did John do that. Was it even on this site?
I think that MOST that visit the Philippines are doing exactly what John may have talked about. I don’t know if he did or not and I don’t care. Seems like he did on another site. (It would be much easier to follow you if you’d reply to the actual comment. Not fussing just want to be able to follow you.) Most that come here go to Angeles City. Most are not coming to stay.
The Ambassador has taken a lot of heat for his comments on the subject. He is obviously correct.
I don’t know why people are so sensitive about the subject. I don’t know why they are afraid to have it apply to them. Now maybe you don’t want to be called a bar monger if you’re not one. That is someone that frequents bikini bars.
You know this is quite a long subject. It fits in with some other things that have been on my mind too. So I’m going to expand on it later. By far, the largest group of men coming here are going straight to Angeles City. They are visitors, they are not expats.
Rusty I have been to Angeles City two or three times. I suppose you can call in sin city or sex city whatever. I did not go on my own but with friends. I have not been back since. I also lived in Sabang Oriental Mindoro. Where there are also many girlie bars. But the difference is most do not go there for the sexual invitations offered to the men, but for the many excellent diving resorts.
Maybe one should not put the blame only on the foreigners but the Mamasang’s who bring the girls there and exploit them. Perhaps I should explain Mamasangs are the women who go to sabang and bring young girls with them; parents are told in some cases that the girls are only going to dance at these bars. The Mamasangs rent rooms out to these girls, pays their fairs to sabang. give them food and act as mothers to them. The girls parade up and down, sometimes dance, or act as hostess to the men not only whites but Pilipino to. They encourage them to buy them a drink. which is about 200peso aprox; out off that the girl will get 50 pesos. But after about five or six weeks the amount off money the girls owe their mamasangs is getting bigger and bigger. Then Mamasang will tell the girls that they want there money and put pressure on them to get a bar fine which means is you take a girl home with out of the bar . You pay say 1000 pesos that goes to the mamasang. What the girl gets its up to the man but it’s usually another 1000 pesos. Which in turn is paid out to the Mamasang until the debit it paid.
I often would go to these girly bars not for sex, but with friends. For the music atmosphere, company. We would get to know these girls and joke with them and make friends with them. Some were as hard as nails, the pros, but most did not like what they did and only did it to support their children or families. Who can judge them certainly not me? Sympathize yes totally and understand why. Rusty many times I have help these poor kids get back home, they would just put all their few things in a plastic bag. Creep out and meet me at the ferries at about five in the morning I would pay their fares and give them some money to buy food. I tell them not to come back. To see the relief and joy on their faces at going back home and as they waved to me there thanks, It was anoth, one does not do kind acts for reward. Yes there are always reasons why people do what they do. Look at the reason first, don’t judge to quickly. Rusty you say you mostly tend to see things in black and white. But there is a grey area between the two. Try to look, make allowances. Sorry I am not preaching , But at 81 years old I have seen so much and have hopefully learnt from my experiences, If I did not then I am a fool. I wish you well, have a nice day
Terry
Terry, you inspired the Old Men and Young Women post, I thought I’d hear from you on that one. Not a peep. 🙂
I am a very deep person Terry, I see things yes and no, ones and zeros when it comes to the choices people make in their lives.
I sometimes make the mistake of offending people because they assume I’m making a judgement when I’m not. They did about what I said and most people would. It causes me problems sometimes. There is a social line there that most people see that I just don’t.
i very clearly do see areas of grey, to the point it makes others a little crazy. I’m an extremely objective person, perhaps to a fault. I see gray areas that most others would never dream of seeing.
I don’t wish to start judging others. I like it that way. Most judgement comes from religion and the Leader of the religion I follow mostly clearly told us not to do it.
You’re going to have to dig a little more deeply to understand me. I hope you pull it off as most people do not. Honestly, that causes me some discomfort, maybe even righteous indignation. haha
One of my other problems, I’m slight obsessive/compulsive. Maybe not slightly. That side of me caused the most devastation in my life in my young adult years. I’ve mellowed some. I’m not talking about the kind where people clean there hands all the time. That’s a separate disorder with a similar name. This one is where you can’t see the forest for the trees like thing. I think it is the reason I just cannot read when something when the writer doesn’t use paragraphs. I try, but I just can’t do it.
A friend that was a psychologist told me I probably had a bit of it going on. She said its very common. That her husband has it. When it came time to clean the garage and there was clutter all over, things stacked on top of things. You know how we Americans sometimes use our garages. lol She told me he literately couldn’t do it. So she told him to just to go back in.
A lot of people write that way, but no matter how are I try, I can’t read it.
I went to a party with friends a few days bago, it was held in a new bar just down the road from me. The average ages for the men about 60years old the women about 25 to 30. Now you ask why the girls go with such older men. For their money? Maybe, but that’s nothing new in any country. HA HA !! For their looks, vitality, sex appeal no.
Most girls here in the Philippines are in a poverty trap with very little chance off getting out off it. They are mainly very beautiful and sexy, slim and happy, always smiling and giggling, mine always is and it’s a tonic.
Now older men have managed one way or another to accumulate a little money and have a pension. Younger men in most cases have not had the time or inclination to do the same. So if you wanted to get a better way of life. A house, security, not to worry much about food every day. And have a man who hopefully adores you and buy you pretty things to wear. If you are very lucky drive your husband or boyfriends car.
Would a man’s age really stop you from being their partner and enjoy the things he can give you. Not here in the Philippines, one thing you have to remember here is that women think they are getting old at thirty. My wife often tells me she is getting old bless her. She is 31.
The culture here in the Philippines is it is not your age that counts; it’s how you treat your women. They look after their man and are proud off them and very jealous of other women intruding on their territory. My house is always spotless. I am not allowed to go out with any cloths I wore yesterday.
So looking at the men and women at the party and seeing these older men with their much younger women all smiling and enjoying their partnerships together, regardless of age made me happy.
YES it works. Don’t knock it till you experience it. The amount of 60 year olds, who beget children here, is amazing; to see these aging older men with their children, loving them, proud of them, also makes me feel good. As I said there is no age barrier here.
If two people can find a common ground and make a bonding between themselves, are happy, leave them alone. Nobody in the Philippines worries about it.
Why should you?
It’s one of the many things I like about living here, the tolerance and allowing each other the space to live their own lives with out petty bigotry or class snobbery. In the villages where they are living very close together, they respect each other’s priversy
Yes off course the men use the women and the women use the man, its called survival. Each one gives to the other. Each one gets what he or she wants from life and the partnership. Sometimes hopefully they get more than that.
I have said this before and will repeat it now. I love my little philipino, she makes me happy, and she looks after me like I was her dad, as she never had one. I love her in so many ways, yes if you like as if she was my daughter
I buy her little things. She would rush home to try it on, looking in the mirror for ages smiling, giggling, and happy. Immediately wash it iron it to show her friends. Me I sit and watch her smiling too, happy she is happy, as I would my daughter.
MAN I feel twenty again, okay thirty five. Ha ha!!
Me a dirty old man don’t be silly, a happy one YES.
Terry,
Sounds like you’ve made an incredibly good life for yourself there. I am an American who has “had it” with Westernized women. Virtually all of my male friends are divorced and a few have been completely ruined.
I’d frankly rather live alone if there were no other choices. Ah, but your comments prove there are choices. I think I’m just counting the years until its my turn. Like both you and Rusty, I would live there rather than bring back another feminist recruit to the U.S. where men used to be men, but now women are men too.
Many, happy, good years ahead. I think you are living my dream.
Hi! Greg.
You can have a good life here as Rusty and I have found out. But you will have to adjust to a culture that is so very much different than yours or mine.
Yes as you say there is too much feminist culture in USA and UK, where women are independent, more equal, more ambitious to a fault, and spend most of their time trying to prove they are hard done by, work harder than men, are cleverer than men, and can in fact do without men. That’s okay by me I can do without that sort of women, as you say I would sooner live on my own.
In fact I lived in Spain for ten years on my own my only companion was my dog, Max. To be honest because of him I was happy and did in no way miss the opposite sex. I was as free as a bird. My Willie did not fall off because I did not have se== . My house was always clean and tidy. And I am quite capable off washing and ironing my own cloths. Who needs women?
When my max died I was broken hearted and missed him for a long time, but then time is a great healer. It was then, I was lonely and decided to find a companion “female” I paid a visit to the Philippines to meet a girl. We bonded, that’s a lovely word. Man it was super, I was about 70 then
I found that the Pilipino women have few hang-ups; it was and is an education in the difference in their attitude, their family unity, their cheerfulness, and modesty. They are very clean and very proud and don’t like to lose face. It will take you some time to get used to their moods.
After four years off searching I found my girl, (women) she is 31 years old. Yes I was robbed, cheated on, used, and all that, but I feel that is a learning curve, that one has to go through. Life was never meant to be easy and it’s mostly unfair, so just get on with it.
Now after a few ups and downs, we are very happy. You know any relationship has to be worked at by both parties, you give and take, learn from each other. Remember you are living in her country you cannot keep telling her “we don’t do this where I come from”. You are not there anymore. Be tolerant of her ( in your eyes) ” her shortcomings.” She will love you all the more for your willingness to understand her ways.
My wife would not use the washing machines; she still washes by hand , she says it’s the Pilipino way and cleaner. Who am eye to ague. Hot water, don’t bother, she loves it cold. Me? I do too now. You will never wear dirty shorts or shirt when you go out, she will see to that.
When I met my girl I think I got the better end of the bargain. Yes she is a breath of fresh air, compared to European women and from USA.
After I read your follow up, I realized I smiled thru every paragraph. Most definitely, you are living my dream.
Ponce de Leon searched for, but never found the “fountain of youth”. He found Florida instead. You’ve one upped him, Terry.
I’m not fed up with American women, I rather like them but the ones I like the most wont have much to do with me. 🙂
I like a strong woman, as long as she’ll do whatever I say. I AM KIDDING! LOL No, I do like a strong women, I’d prefer a rich woman. haha
What bothers me is with women in the USA is that single women will try to get married women to leave their guy in many cases. This is a common thing that men keep bringing up. I’ve seen it in my first marriage. I know it happens. I’m glad they did it, I had no idea what was going on.
I loved the feminist recruit line. Made me smile. I really don’t have a problem with it. If a woman doesn’t want to be with me, whatever the cause. Bye, if that’s what she really wants then I’ll have no part of her. It tends to be a little hard for me to accept when that happens and I’ll resist it at first. Once I think or realize she really would be else where, then bye and the sooner you’re gone the better. 🙂
Sorry Rusty. But did put all in paragraphs ,as I have done before, but when I send my comment it comes out as above.
But will space paragraphs out next time, as you do .
Then you can undestand better.
WE have to look after you old codgers dont we?
HI! RUSTY. I you were easy to figure out to see through, and then in all probability you would be a very boring person. Which you it appears are not.
I am. I am told a complicated person. I don’t want to be stripped bare inside my head for all to see. Like you I am compulsive, will do things at a drop off a hat, vanish as it were into thin air at a whim. That too has got me into trouble in my youth, still does.
Yes a lot of people can’t see the wood for the trees. They only see what they want to see, the rest is just a blur to them . But I understand the connection with the paragraphs being close to gether, making it hard to read and understand.
But if someone writes an interesting and positive comment that is eligible, in spite of paragraphs or spelling mistakes, then I give him or her credit for the guts for posting it. And should encourage them, to write more, as they have a point of view to express or advice to give that we all can share.
Have a nice day Rusty.
Terry, its clear you don’t have me figured out. You don’t seem to understand what I was saying.
I said a lot more than talk about the lack of paragraphs. My inability to read them, I faulted myself not writer.
But not my fault you became defensive. Though it may be my fault that you didn’t understand me. That is a clear example of what I was talking about. Or have on many occasions, I think I did in this comment too. In this case, I went through the trouble of explaining it was my issue yet the person I am “speaking” too is still offended. Where I just see it as the way it is.
I just told you, I can’t read it. The best I can do is scan it, which I did or I couldn’t have replied to what was in it.
You make some good comments, I just want to be able to read them. Did you copy and past that message? Did you use MS Word? If you do that, before copying into anything online, first copy it into Wordpad or a text edit may work better. Though I don’t think Notepad will. Then copy it into an online document. MS Word does funny things to documents. Took me a while to figure that trick out but it comes in very handy. If that’s not what you did, then I have no idea.
Oh, that’s not obsessive compulsive. I’m very dependable. I would never vanish. I make it a point not to do that. Though, I did once or twice when it needed to be done.
No, if someone really makes me angry, someone really does an injustice to me, or something goes wrong in my life, I might obsess on it. I might need a resolution to a problem NOW because of this obsessing and then I become anxious and sometimes angry. Luckily, I don’t have a mean bone in my body. For those that do, well, they often kill in this state. Me, I just destroy relationship. I’m much better now. But boy, once I was on high dose Prednisone at the same time I was headed to creating the X1U (first ex wife or the ex one unit haha). That didn’t turn out well.
I’m not as dependable as I use to be so I tend to not make commitments to see people. I really don’t like to do that to people. Make plans and not show up.
I think of others maybe to much but I wouldn’t just vanish. I make sure people know where I am. I’m dependable.
Rusty. When I said “vanishing into thin air’ I was not referring to you but myself. I also, do understand when you spoke about not using paragraphs and did in fact agree with you.
It is not just me Rusty that sometimes gets on the defensive, but you do to.
You say (quote) Yet the person I am speaking to” is still offended” If you are referring to me, which I believe you are. Please say so, don’t use me as a third person.
When I write to you I am not trying to score points, which it seems you are. You say I have to dig deeper to understand you, I don’t want to dig deeper to understand you.
My comments are about the Philippines and my opinions and maybe give a little advice, not to get into a verbal with you.
Yes I did copy and paste, did use paragraphs and spacing. But when it was printed it came out in a lump.
I am happy with any criticism about my comments as long as they are constructive and not negative and happy to debate them with you.
Bye the way I believe you are an American? I am English. Born in London. But have not been back there for about 30 years. Don’t want to.
Well. I have attacked and been defensive, ha ha, now I retreat, I am going to cut the grass before it gets too hot.
You have a nice day Rusty.