The Culture Of The Philippines
Recently, I described some of what I had learned about the traditions of the Philippines. Then I asked readers to tell me about their experiences here in the Philippines. I was surprised to see some 
where offended by what I had said. Instead of telling me what they had done, they attempted to invalidate what I had learned.
Since I’m the outsider here, the new kid on the street so to speak, I listen and then go validate what I’ve learned. Talking to Filipino that grew up in one area, they are just as shocked that another Filipino had a different experience.
What I’ve come to learn is that traditions in the Philippines vary vastly from location to location. That shouldn’t come as a surprise. The Philippines have been here and has been civilized for a long time. There are many Islands here and for thousands of years, it has been hard to get from Island to Island. Probably quite dangerous. There still is some danger in inter-island travel. Usually accomplished mostly by boat and a price that is significant for many Filipino.
Most people I’ve talked to have not traveled a lot from Island to Island on a regular basis so most of the people are still some what separated by the limitations imposed by water. There are at least 12 major languages that make up the archipelago of the Philippines. That too will limit communication and lead to different understandings. Mostly what we know about each other is based on thought, which I can’t think without using a word.
So the ground work is there for these major differences in tradition and culture. My suggestion here is that when someone tells you the Philippines is a certain way, one should not apply that to the entire country. It may or it may apply to a certain area. The same behavior on another Island could be completely unacceptable to another Filipino.
I’m in a new country. I’m not a citizen. It is not my culture. I feel it is my obligation to adapt to this new lands way of doing things. Watch National Geographic and you’ll see things that are taboo to you and me but to that culture are a normal way of life. A way they find impossible to contemplate giving up. Perhaps we should keep that in mind when we judge any culture, especially Philippine culture.
Tagged with: Filipino Culture • Living In The Phlippines
Filed under: Filipino Culture • Living In The Philippines
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If you haven’t already experienced it, then you will eventually see how close families ties normally are. Sometimes, it seems almost as if family first, “kano” husband second. But, due to environment, connections in-family seem to develop to a closer degree than American families. Mom and Dad don’t get dumped in a nursing home in Mindanao!
City living…much different than provincial living. Most likely, Americans are going to experience more culture shock if they choose provincial living.
Back in May of 05, a friend of mine and I were kicking around the cow chips concerning the insanity we were experiencing. Then the revelation! He and I were the insane ones because we didn’t want to adapt to the culture. What seemed ridiculous to us was the norm to filipinos.
Bottom line is…adapt and accept. It’s NOT America.
Try to change things and you WILL go crazy.
I love it!!!!!!! Can’t hardly wait to get back!
Rebelson,
I realized the crazy thing within about a week and said, I’m the one that much change. A few expats get that.
I think more of them do than admit it but people just find it easier to complain that admit they like something.
It is also important to remember that the culture or kultura in one part of the country is not the culture all over.
I started in Metro Cebu, that was vastly different. Moving to the province was not much different for me.
Yes, the families are very close. My girl is a little different that most Filipino but she misses her family. I think she does find herself in a bad position from time to time. Generally she doesn’t want me to go with her when she returns home for a visit. I think the pressures are greater than she lets me know. She has moved away from one of her boys. We both want to bring him here but for now, that has not been possible. She doesn’t talk of it much but it sometimes gets to her. I don’t bring it up, no point in reminding her.
I hope she doesn’t have more hard choices in her future regarding her children. They wont be easier for her, regardless of what she picks. Going back to her old life would be very hard for her now. What she wants to do, would probably be over whelmed with what makes the most sense.
I just take it day by day as to paraphrase “tomorrow has enough worries of its own.”
I agree completely on the we must change part.
Too many “outsiders” go to the Philippines not having a clue what to expect.
The other thing that galls me is a foreigner who treats the filipinos as second class citizens in their own country. It’s incredibly easy to become “disappeared” there, especially in Mindanao.
Once I got my head on straight and realized I wasn’t in Manila, (or MS) I totally enjoyed life there, and always got a laugh out of something that caught me unaware.
And for me, stress suddenly became non existent.
If one doesn’t learn to roll with the flow, might as well go to NAIA and catch a flight back here to the “real world of insanity”.
I get along with family there great. Favorite (of 2)American son in law. LOL. Took a little while, but it was my fault, not theirs. Those cultural differences were a block to me. Had to shed my unsocial attitude. Gotta be sociable if you wanna co exist.
My wife has a twin, and she misses her more than the rest, I suppose. But, thanks to Al Gore’s internet invention, she stays in touch on a daily basis. And long distance calls from here are only $4.75 for an hour. Her mom and dad are desparate to see their american grandson, of course. Hopefully, won’t be toooo much longer, and we can “come home.”
Jessie’s family seems to like me too. Oh there’s a trouble maker or two there, that’s just being human. Her dad and brother and sisters were great. Her brother is a barangay captain and her sister is a CPA so they are not as poor as many Filipino.
Still there is a culture here that I refer to as the family tax. They are for the most part very happy that someone is taking care of their baby girl, she’s the youngest. They like me just fine. I like them. I just wish they had aircon. LOL
We are struggling financially, living better than most but struggling none the less. That’s our only concern and that is getting better.
How did you find calls to the PI for under $5.00 an hour?
I too find expats putting down Filipino and I don’t like it. Yea there was an American near here that was beating Filipina. He went to jail and committed suicide by beating his head into the wall. Yeah right. Funny, the autopsy found he had strangled. i bet he had some help beating his head into the wall but beating the girl maybe was suicide as it should be the sorry POS.
Hi,
I married a girl from province. I flew to meet her after six weeks chatting. That was one year ago and we have been married three months now. It was a shock to me but i had no interest in changing it. My logic always has been to respect and accept the culture and the people you are visiting. Yes my wife’s family is poor but they have never once asked me for a single peso. Her neighbours, friends, town officials, street kids, strangers on the other hand were a different story. I help them and continue to do so. The men can be a little rude and agressive (I’ll never get used to the constant intense staring) but i just ignore it. My wife is sweet and kind and her family are great.
Hi Michael!
That sounds more like what I’ve seen myself except the town officials not have asked me for anything and I’d be shocked if they did. Too much pride I think, but now, I’ve not asked anything from them either.
If I try to open a business, things might change a bit. Don’t know.
Strangers on the street, yeah they ask. What part of the country are you in? Things chance so much from place to place, even town to town and even barangay to barangay.
I guess I use to notice the staring, Jessie tells me that is mostly they are envious and curious. Don’t take it as a harsh thing. In fact, respond with a hello and a smile, take the initiative. Some kano have been rude to them, show them we are not all that way. I’m willing to bet an entire centavo that if you say hello, they will smile. Its never failed me, well once or twice it has.
Today there was some kids laughing at me. Probably because of my size, and they were out in the bay and in their underwear so I just yell back at least I have some clothes on.
They couldn’t understand me but I couldn’t’ understand them either. 
Some how though I think we understood each other. They meant no harm really, just teens into a little mischief. Like me. LOL