When you move to the Philippines you can start a new life, you can get a fresh start. You might be able to leave some old problems behind. However, your luggage will include that old baggage that the airlines can’t weigh but that drags you down.
A Move To the Philippines Does Not Change Who You Are
I was talking to an expert in human behavior the other day and he mentioned how humans have been the same for thousands of years. Actually he said millennia but used the Bible to document 10,000 years of basic human reactions to things.
While culture changes a great deal between region to region, humans are the same in some ways. Love and hate, jealousy, giving versus taking and many more traits they are within us all.
What I’m leading up to is you can’t expect to wash away all your problems by moving to a new land. In fact, they can become enhanced. A new place and a fresh start can certainly give me a new lease on life. It pushes out the boring and bring in the new which also seems fantastic. My first trip to Bantayan Island was also the most amazing. I was blown away by the place. The second time still great but I knew what to expect. It was already becoming routine.
We will fall back to our routines, both the good and the bad. I have noticed cycles that repeat in my life. If you’ve reached the age of 45 and don’t see some, you might not been paying attention. You could also just be a better rounded person than some of us. People I’ve been close to certainly don’t seem to be in any better shape than I.
I learned during my first divorce that I have a codependency issue. It is not uncommon folks, it is very common. I know some experts that don’t really see an issue with it though it needs to be controlled. I do not know. I’m no expert. I’ve been told there are good and bad issues with it. It can be nurturing or it can become controlling. My guess is that balance is the key. I don’t think I’ve ever been very good at balance. I’ve excelled at some things because I tend to poor myself into them. Perhaps this same tendency can be very harmful too, could it lead to an unhealthy obsession?
I didn’t leave that tendency behind by coming to the Philippines. Now I love a woman that is hurt if I don’t let her do things for me. I began to put my socks on the other day and Jessie, with her loving ways rushes over to do it for me. I told her “You know, I can do that myself.” She didn’t say a word but the look her face was “Like hell you will.” She wants to do these things and if I don’t let her it hurts her. Heck, I like it so why should I stop her? It is one of her ways of showing me love. I don’t need this but it is nice. I am having some problems with my feet at the moment. I do need Jessie to do some walking for me. To run errands that I don’t need to be making. That loving nurturing nature of hers is probably something I do need right now. I want to walk, I hate not being able too. I’m afraid that I’m going to do serious damage if I don’t protect my feet right now as I’m diabetic.
I think nurturing though this can be used as a way to allow a partner, usually female, to create a loving atmosphere without giving themselves. I’d need an expert to be certain of that, it is just a hunch. I know from my first marriage that if someone does everything for you, it can be hard to get use to doing those things for yourself when they suddenly exit your life. I developed that hunch under the most unscientific ways possible. At some point, I realized my first wife probably hated my guts.
Fear is another example of this good and bad aspects of human nature. Fearless people often find themselves in danger or trouble with the law. They don’t see the consequences of their actions. To much fear will prevent you from doing anything. Some people are afraid of wide open spaces, so much so they become paralyzed and cannot move or think. So they stay inside all the time.
Your Move To The Philippines Will Not Cure Your Flaws
Again, you do not leave the rinse and repeat cycle of your personality behind by moving to the Philippines. You might be able to shed a bad credit report but you can’t be shed of yourself by just a move. Your past comes with you. I often say I ran away from home and didn’t stop until I was 8000 miles away. When I got there, I was still there. No matter how far I run, I’m still there. Do not expect a move to the Philippines to change your entire life. Moving to the Philippines can certainly enhance your life as it has mine. However, when you move to the Philippines you are still you.
Filed under: Living In The Philippines
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